How We Found Our Place
by Komusai Matakatana
Summary: A Two-Shot detailing the events that led up to Grimmjow and Starrk's transformation into Arrancar and their relations with fellow Espada. Companion but stand alone piece to Los Pantera.
1. How I Got My Tattoo

Hueco Mundo is a world unlike the realm of the living. It is not tamed by a single species that denies its instincts, shrouding themselves in a false veil of civility. No, the endless desert plains are a constant battleground, governed by power and fear. A place where the strong exist to feed upon the weak and pile their bodies to be used as a ladder for the next step in evolution. It is here that the brutality of nature remains undisturbed by human intervention.

The throne in Hueco Mundo is exchanged rapidly between those with the sharpest claws and fangs but recently there has been a disturbance in the balance of the Hollow's twisted form of government. Three figures have appeared, binding and enslaving them for a cause not their own. They are respected because they are vehement and fearless in addition to their godlike ability to rend their opposition to shreds with an idle wave of their hands. But they are Shinigami and they do not know the laws of the desert while there are natives who are equally steadfast that do.

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques is one such denizen, a creature who has never known terror and familiarizes himself with the ancient ways: the code that dictates who is fit to live and die by trial of constant fighting and hunger. He has survived for centuries on end, killing, devouring, growing in the crystalline forest below the surface, a testament to the breed of creature that should truly be at the helm of the darkest of the three worlds.

**…………………………**

_It's close_.

A red blast of energy illuminated the night sky, punching a hole in a shelf of solid rock that drained billions of white grains into a cavernous subterranean expanse. Out from the shadows, a cat-like silhouette emerged from the whirlpool of sand. Its body was small compared to others of its class, housing unimaginable power within a sleek, muscular frame that was stark white with black lines of varying width curving around appendages and breaking in its abdomen where a perfect circle resided.

Dark paws padded along the dunes, taking eager steps towards a phantasmagorical palace looming on the horizon. Icy blue eyes, the only hint of color for as far as one could see were narrowed, a predatory gleam set hard at the distant structure.

His stomach ached, begged for sustenance. Thousands of Hollow souls combined with the millions of human voices they had ingested screamed inside his head, clawing at the back of his skull for release. He was close, he could feel it. Evolution to Vasto Lorde was only an inch from his nose, hovering tauntingly just out of reach. It had been days since he had taken the masks of his followers and that had been the event that served as a catalyst to his final ascension. All he needed now was something more, a single soul that oozed reiryoku to give him a push to the next stage. That was why he was where he was, in front of _Las Noches_, searching for an above-average being to meld into his flesh.

"Weak, the lot of them. All so weak!" He growled, breaking into a sprint towards the ivory castle, the reverse moon at his side, acting as the only unchanging beacon of light in the abysmal tumult that was Hueco Mundo. "Only one more, one strong one. That's all I need."

Grimmjow bounded over the tops of sunken arbor jutting up from the ground, moving at blinding speed until the air became thick with reiatsu. The panther skidded to a halt and spun to see a figure walking regally along the moonlit plains. Unlike him, his skin was dark and he had a length of black hair pulled back into a low ponytail over top a thick orange scarf. This man was not Hollow and he was not attempting to hide it. He wore a white Haori and mirrored glasses in accessory to a standard Shinigami shihakushou.

When the feline Adjuchas had initially set out for a meal, he didn't expect to find this but he was desperate and if whoever this person was met him before any _Espada_ then so be it. His Hollow hole reacted to the man's very presence, contracting violently at the thought of ripping him to shreds. He didn't need any more than that. Grimmjow charged, watching as the Shinigami turned his blind stare over to him and ceased walking before appearing next to him in a gust of shunpo, clutching his maw tight with a single hand. "I am _Espada_ Commander Tousen Kaname," he announced humbly, seemingly unaware of the vicious attempts by the subdued berserker to claw him to death, dodging lazily to the side every so often. "You are strong; Aizen-sama would have a high place for you in his arm-" A furious lash courtesy of Grimmjow's spine-like tail cut his sentence short, knocking his iron grip loose enough for him to escape the hold.

"I didn't ask who you were," the panther snarled, moving to pounce but catching a hard kick in the ribs that sent him into a death roll. "What is your name, beast?" Tousen inquired calmly, strolling over to where his opponent laid, his sword bouncing at his hip. He came to a stop next to him and refused to move even when he leapt to his paws. "I don't introduce myself to food," Grimmjow retorted venomously, eyes widening when a mocha-skinned hand grabbed his cheek and tore a quarter of his mask away, revealing half of a human mouth beneath. "Forgive me," the Captain apologized to the writhing, bleeding creature. "It is not my wish to cause you pain. Allow me to ease your suffering and show you to Aizen-sama." The sound of steel grating against smooth wood was the last thing the Adjuchas heard before two barely audible words took him from consciousness.

"Cry...Suzumushi."

**…………………………**

Time passed and Grimmjow awoke in a bleak prison cell, lit only by dancing flames of torchlight. His vision was blurred and there was a throbbing dull pain centered on the lower-left corner of his face. Breathing pained him and the dry stagnant, dry air scratched at his throat. An attempt to lift his head resulted in another few hours of uncomfortable slumber.

An iron gate slammed open, jolting him upright. The panther rose to his feet and hefted a paw to discover that his rear ankles were chained to the ceiling where he couldn't tamper with the bindings. They were made of some kind of odd material that made his body feel like lead and drain his spiritual power entirely. He shook his head to clear his senses and panned around his cell, observing that the floor and walls were made of the same suppressing stone as his shackles. It was a dark gray and it didn't refract the already limited light, making the chamber much darker,

"Alright, here we are," a gruff tone muttered disinterestedly underneath the sounds of a ferocious barking that echoed throughout the dungeon. "I said shut up!" the same voice shouted.

Grimmjow's eyes shot over to the entrance of his cell where a burly shadow punched what appeared to be a wild animal through the gate, causing it to sail through the air and smash against the wall with a high whimper. Whatever had hit him stepped inside and pulled two more lines of chain down from the ceiling and attached them to the cuffs adorning the other inmate's hind legs. Upon locking them secure, he promptly left, rolling the metal bars shut behind him.

Several minutes passed without a noise as the slumping heap in the corner remained still, a pair of triangular ears flattened against its skull.

"Not like this." It sighed. "I can't let it happen like this."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Grimmjow spat in agreement, alerting the other Hollow to his presence which didn't necessarily provide foundation for a friendly conversation.

It whipped around, hackles raised and teeth bared. But when it got a good look at who the speaker had been, it calmed and sat on its haunches. "I can't believe they got you too."

The two recognized each other by scent, they had both been leaders of ragtag groups bent on evolving and formed a truce drawn in hunting grounds. Now, they were jailed together, two like beings that were small Adjuchas' with power and potential. Where one was a panther, the other was a wolf.

"Believe it, Starrk. Quit complaining and get talking. Where are we?" The former demanded, pacing around and testing the limits of his restraints. "Under _Las_ _Noches_," Starrk answered grimly, spitting a red glob of saliva to the side. "I sensed that you were getting ready to evolve and I followed you at a distance, waiting for your transformation so that I could eat you and evolve myself. When I picked up on a fight, I went ahead to try and catch you injured but some strange looking thing had already torn off a piece of your mask. Then he apologized and slapped these pain-in-the-ass bracelets on me." He explained, noting the horrified expression he got from the panther at the bit about his mask.

Grimmjow brought a shaky paw to the pain on his face and sneered when he touched a partially human jaw. "No," he groused. "I was so close…so fucking close!" He screamed, gnashing his teeth, tearing at his bondage in blind rage. "I'll kill that bastard! I'll remember you Tousen Kaname!"

Starrk could do nothing but observe his cellmate's actions with the utmost pity. His mask was still whole after all and he could neither sympathize nor empathize with Grimmjow's pain. To have your mask destroyed in battle and survive was a mark of shame amongst _Menos Grande_ but to have it broken by something that wasn't even Hollow…that was far less than what he thought the panther deserved. If he was going to stop evolving then he should at least see the next stage as a part of someone else in death.

Hueco Mundo's mercilessly endless night continued on without any sleep for the pair of fallen warriors.

Day, or at least the timeslot for when the nonexistent sun would rise, came agonizingly slow in _Las Noches'_ arid and unventilated detention facility.

"No hard feelings about me trying to eat you?" Starrk murmured, the first words he had spoken since breaking the news of the mask. He risked a glance over to the being in question and frowned the best his facial structure would allow him to when he noticed him sulking facedown in his paws. "It's a pretty underhanded thing to do but when it comes to evolving," Grimmjow began in a tone of utter defeat. "I guess it's what most of us would've done so I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned, I'm too angry at Tousen to fit anyone else in right now."

The wolf nodded in understanding, relieved that the tensions in the cell had been cleared. "Glad to hear it. I didn't want my time in here to be-" He bit his tongue at the sound of footsteps coming from the narrow hallway between prison blocks. Even Grimmjow's head pricked up at the development, waiting, fangs bared to whoever was brave enough to tread near him.

Two women rounded the corner briskly, taking long strides to position themselves in front of their assigned "guests". One had dark skin that clashed with her braided blonde hair. Her eyes were half-lidded in questionable apathy above an immodest white jacket that left the bottom half of her ample breasts exposed while the missing fabric was relocated to cover her mouth. The other had a cartoonish skull decorating her long head of seafoam hair. She had magenta facial markings that stretched across her nose and although equally well-endowed in comparison to her partner, she wore a full-body uniform.

Wordlessly, they unlocked the gate and tossed in the corpse of a regular Hollow, almost an insult to the two Adjuchas. It was barely enough to keep Starrk from reverting to a Gillian and satisfy Grimmjow's pointless hunger which was most likely the idea.

"Eat before the stone absorbs all of its power," the green-haired woman pleaded, wringing her hands while her associate merely tipped up her eyelids. When there was no response, the latter turned to leave but she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder and a shaking head. "We have orders from Aizen-sama to educate you daily about _Las Noches_ while he is away in Soul Society and another order from Ichimaru-sama to 'keep you from biting off your own tongues' as he put it."

"Fuck your Aizen-sama." Grimmjow and Starrk bellowed in unison. That name was familiar to them, they had heard it being tossed around the forest like prayer to a deity but true Hollows had no business with anyone but themselves and they let the world know it. Still…that didn't stop them from gorging on the carcass in front of them; they were slaves to their appetites no matter the circumstances.

Seeing this as the best time for introduction, the Arrancar spoke up. "I'm Nelliel Tu Oderschvank but you can call me Nel or Nel Tu if you like. I'm the _Tercera Espada_ and I like reading, playing tag, or having fun with my friends when I'm not training or out on missions." Grimmjow and Stark looked up from disemboweling the dead creature to give the woman a weary look. When the wolf returned to snatching up the prized liver, the panther moved his eyes over to the only quiet one in the vicinity. "Please tell me you're a lower rank than her, lady because I really need a laugh right now." He grumbled, blue blood running down his lips. "Tia Harribel, _Segunda Espada_ in Aizen-sama's army. My rank is due to the reservation of the _Primera's_ seat."

Grimmjow cursed under his breath as he resumed the impromptu feast, apparently a green light for Nel to strike up a conversation, this time on a much more serious note. "We're sorry that you have to live in these conditions. It isn't right for Grimmjow Jeagerjaques and Coyote Starrk: two of the oldest and most powerful Adjuchas-class Hollows," she whispered, grasping one of the bars and leaning close to the cell. No matter how much stronger she was than the two of them, she couldn't help but feel a chill run down her spine when four hard and ancient eyes peered over a pile of gutless remains. "We don't need sympathy from some youngblood Arrancar who gave up trying to become Vasto Lorde just for some quick power that isn't even hers." Nel was taken aback; her face contorted into a pout and signaled Harribel's turn to take the initiative in an uncharacteristically talkative fashion.

"You will be detained here due to your exemplary potential, never allowed to leave until Aizen-sama obtains the Hougyoku and makes you into Arrancar whether you agree or not so I highly recommend that you get on good terms with us because we will be the only people you see outside of yourselves for decades," she remarked bitterly, tilting her head to prevent a chunk of flesh from hitting her in the nose. "We will return tomorrow to feed and inform you of your future duties. It is best to resign yourselves to the inevitable now, harboring delusions of escape and defeating Aizen-sama will only lead to great disappointment, I assure you."

They left as fast as they came, Nel falling in line next to her superior after giving the prisoners a remorseful farewell. Their words stayed however, seeping into the walls and the minds of the captives.

"Arrancar, huh?" Grimmjow repeated to himself. "Doesn't really matter now that my mask is broken. But like hell I'm going to lie down and let Aizen make me his bitch." He concluded, seizing the heart from the mutilated Hollow to emphasize his point. "I'm not going to entertain your pipe dreams," Starrk dismissed, curling into a ball and tucking his head between his thigh and tail. "Do what you want, _King_. I'm overdue for a nap and at least we can sleep here without worrying about getting eaten." He brushed off the carnal hiss aimed at his direction and relaxed, allowing slumber to take him elsewhere. Grimmjow sneered at the sight, wondering how he could take it all in stride especially when he still had a whole mask. "Weakling…not even gonna try fighting? Well then go ahead and rot in here!"

Sometime in the afternoon, a servant came to fetch the remains of the 'food'. Unluckily for him, he ventured too close to the panther and became what he was charged to retrieve. After that, Nel and Harribel came each day to personally take care of the cleanup. Then the divulging of intelligence commenced, consisting mostly of Nel rambling about what it was like to serve Aizen and what kind of experiences she has as an _Espada_ with the soft-spoken _Segunda_ adding only what she thought was useful to the flood of incoherent bits of information. Grimmjow and Starrk treated them as if they weren't even there at first but over time, they began to ask questions out of boredom.

Months passed and the four learned to tolerate each other.

Years passed and the four became on peaceful terms.

Decades passed and the four looked forward to their meetings every day, no longer restricting the conversations to formal exchanges of uninteresting facts. Harribel would often talk about how she loved to swim in the one of the many hidden reservoirs dug under _Las Noches_ and Nel would relate her daily happenings with her _fraccion_ or the fights with Nnoitra that made the two inmates want to skin him alive. Their relationship grew into casual friendships forged by mutual understanding and the knowledge that conflict would result in nothing gained. So they talked, shared stories of the Menos Forest, and speculated on what the future would hold until one day…

"Yo, Tia. Where's Nel?" Grimmjow asked, curiosity peaked. He stretched the lengths of his chains to the maximum and attempted to peer around the bars, hoping to spot a lock or two of seafoam silk hiding playfully out of sight.

"She won't be joining us anymore…"

Hueco Mundo is an hourglass, spinning at every event, changing unpredictably, ravaging all with the unforgiving sands of time.

**…………………………**

"Aizen-sama has defected and obtained the Hougyoku. He has requested you, Grimmjow to be the second who inherits its power."

The iron gate opened with a rattle and Harribel undid the panther's restraints but left the energy suppressing cuffs fastened to his legs. "See you on the other side," Starrk muttered, tacking on a chaste 'good luck' when Grimmjow was fitted with a leashed collar of the same gray stone. "Just a precaution, I had nothing to do with it," the dark-skinned woman stated blandly, sharing a scowl with the two Adjuchas.

As fate would have it, the collar became absolutely necessary when Grimmjow entered the throne room of _Las Noches_ and came face to face with the man who broke his mask.

Tousen refused to acknowledge the beast combating his captor's vice-grip on his chain leash with everything he had in an attempt to gut him. He was as he always had been, standing solemnly next to Aizen who smiled at his newest creation's vigor. A minute went by, nothing but mocking praise and promises of great strength from the brown-haired ex-Captain.

Grimmjow felt the Hougyoku pressed to his forehead and transformed in the blink of an eye. His body went numb and his vision faded to black, the orb of distortion warping the boundaries of his soul. When it was removed, he fell naked to his knees and stared wide-eyed at the floor as his bondage was discarded for the first time in nearly a century.

_This is it? This is what I get after failing to evolve? This is nothing!_

"My, my still so powerful even though your mask was broken and you were exposed to only a fraction of the Hougyoku's true abilities. I'm impressed; your reiatsu is at _Espada_ levels. I think I can fit you in right below Nnoitra."

"Hmm…perhaps we should give Starrk some time since his results should be similar. I'll wait for it to awaken just a little more."

It was impossible, there was no way he could oppose the man he was forced to serve. Grimmjow resigned himself and swallowed his pride, biding his time and training to bridge the gap between him and Aizen so that he could crush him beneath his heel. He took it all in stride, keeping his rage in check when he obtained his first uniform, when he was pushed on his stomach and branded a gothic six, and when those who had been weaker than him in Adjuchas form surpassed him effortlessly without an ounce of sweat.

But there were times where he could reflect and establish his own identity as an Arrancar like the times where he swam in the freezing underground pools with Harribel or taught himself the Spanish guitar alongside the _Primera_ or took long walks in the moonlit desert, oblivious to the games of endless pursuit being played in the distance. These things calmed him but never alleviated the new form of emptiness welling up inside his chest, a humiliating sense of failure and inadequacy.

Though sometimes, he could look up at the reverse moon and sense that someone else had experienced this same suffering on the other side where the crescent faced the other way.

* * *

**Author's Note: Yup, took a risk by making Starrk an Adjuchas but I left it open for some time just in case he actually is a Vasto Lorde. That way he could've evolved before being exposed to the Hougyoku. Him being a wolf is due to his release Los Lobos which is literally 'the wolves'. Seeing as how most Arrancar's zanpakuto's names are what their old forms used to be, I took it upon myself to throw the dice.**

**Anyway, check out Los Pantera if you're a fan of Grimm/Soi.**

**Don't forget to review on your way out.**


	2. How I Joined My Pack

In my time living through centuries of hunger and battle, I've learned to cope with many unusual circumstances. Still, when Tia came that morning to our cell disheveled and looking like she hadn't had the easiest of nights, I felt an impending sense of dread. She stood there behind the bars, arms crossed, waiting for us to initiate some sort of conversation which wasn't unusual seeing as how she isn't very talkative; even more so since Nel had mysteriously disappeared.

All three of us miss her in some way or another.

Grimmjow and I looked her in the eyes and we saw that shell of hers crack for an instant before she breaks a little. There are tears in the corners of those green eyes of hers but she sucked them back up and moved to the door.

"Aizen-sama has defected and obtained the Hougyoku. He has requested you, Grimmjow to be the second who inherits its power." Her voice was off and it quivered slightly.

We knew it was going to come sooner or later, we weren't going to be prisoners forever and that was fine but for Tia to be as upset as she was meant that something bad was probably going to happen. Looking back, I envy Grimmjow for going first. However, I was an Adjuchas at the time and Adjuchas will place higher value on self-preservation over camaraderie five times out of five. He turned out weaker than me though and I'm jealous of that. I wanted to be lower and he _deserved_ to be higher.

The gate opened and she came in to undo the panther's chains, not mine as well, just his. I didn't care, he could go first and I would follow shortly after. He was the king amongst us after all so he goes and gets a big collar made out of that damned rock around his neck and is taken upstairs. I wish him luck but he doesn't get any; I didn't even know how much he needed it.

They left and time passed.

I have never felt lonelier than that night I spent by myself in that cell with no one to talk to. There was no sound and it seemed as if I was suspended in one infinite moment without hope of curing that feeling of misery that hadn't left since the morning. I couldn't sleep for once and I am left to howl alone.

The next day, Grimmjow comes and breaks the door off its hinges. I wouldn't have recognized him without the jaw and the eyes. At first, when I felt him coming down the cellblock, I thought he was still a Hollow but it was just because the change in his power was so small due to the premature usage of the Hougyoku. He would've been stronger than Tia if he just took his mask off naturally and that pains me to think back on it.

For a while, he just stared at me after the flying gate puts a hole through the wall. I tried to say something but nothing came to mind, he looked worn and his eyes looked their age like they sometimes did. It wasn't anger they held, it was echoes of his great humiliation.

"Aizen's goin' to want you soon," he said in a tone that made me want to abscond to some remote corner of the universe far away from where I was. "I'll help you take that mask off if you want. You'll be stronger that way." I wanted to vomit. Fear must've been written all over my face because the Arrancar in front of me sneered as he cut me loose from those reiatsu-sealing chains. "Fucking coward. You can just go and suffer then." He turned and went after that, looking as pissed off as ever and probably running to experience either alcohol or a woman's body for the first time. I can't blame him, its fine. Alcohol made us friends after I got my position as _Primera _I think…or maybe that was when the _fraccion_ got us a guitar from the Living World by accident instead of Aizen's tea leaves.

Once he's gone, I didn't move for a while because I honestly didn't know what to do. According to the years we scratched into the wall, it had been about a century that I spent bound in that cage with my powers suppressed into less than mortal quantities.

That was when…I think Grimmjow used to call him 'Foxface'…that's when Foxface showed up out of the hole in the wall with that smile that was almost enough to back me into a corner…almost. He was mostly Shinigami by scent and so I attacked him out of instinct even though my gut told me to stay the hell away from him. My fighting skills were above par for a second-stage Menos back then but that meant very little against a Taicho and so I was subdued within less than a second.

"Easy there, wolf-san. No need to get all riled up, I just came to see ya 'cause Aizen and I thought you might be interested in something your friend back there didn't need any more."

For some reason, I was interested after I sobered up and got wise about attacking Ichimaru. He was with my captor and he wasn't someone I could face as I was then. We headed outside which was simple enough since the prison facility is built into the walls of _Las Noches_ and Grimmjow was nice enough to blast a hole through it…he's had something against entrances and obstructions from as far back as I can remember.

I'm led out to a dune far from the palace and Foxface just stares at me for a minute before pulling out something from his robes and tossing it in front of me. It was the piece of Grimmjow's mask Tousen had ripped off.

I ate it instantly.

This is where my memory starts to get a little hazy. I can only recall bits and pieces, I'm sure Lilynette has the rest. My body got hot and those voices in my head gave me a migraine that no amount of sake could hope to recreate. There was power, lots of it. Ichimaru let his grin drop a bit at the power coming from my transformation.

First thing I do as a Vasto Lorde is look down and see that I've got skin and half the legs that I was accustomed to having; getting taller was a bonus. Finally I could hear myself think too. No more of those damn voices.

"Congratulations wolf-san." I really hate that nickname. "Oh dear but you don't really look like a wolf anymore, do you? Not with those horns on your head. In any case, have fun because Aizen's giving you some time to stretch your legs away from _Las Noches_ for a while. Bye-bye." He gave me a weird wave and flashed back to do whatever while I'm left for the second time in five minutes without a clue as to what I should do next.

Then I noticed the scent in the air.

_Hueco Mundo_ is really is a place like no other. There is a higher concentration of reishi in the atmosphere alone than in all life on Earth and nothing ever puts it to use. It gathers together and forms clouds and as more Hollows evolve, _ceros_ fire, and bodies decompose, the clouds will get thicker and thicker until the reishi condenses for about a month or so every few years. This is _Hueco Mundo's_ rainy season: a time where everything that is able to moves to the surface, drawn up by what's basically liquid food and tries to get to the next level as fast as possible. The result is absolute insanity.

Packs usually disband and every Hollow will be for themselves in blind chaos. There's no light except for the occasional flash of discharged spirit particles from the clouds covering the moon. No one risks using energy attacks because the atmospheric interference will make them blow up in your face more than half the time. _Garganta_ won't work either.

The first downpour started within an hour and I was one of many roaming across the surface but I was the only thing there with a prevalent sense of apathy toward the current situation. Nobody came near me because they think I'll rip them to shreds so I went out to see if I could follow along with some of the Hollows who couldn't see well in the darkness. They died instantly when I got close to them and that annoyed me at first. A couple days later and it just stacked more depression onto my loneliness.

After that, I tried visiting some of the settlements around the surface but they were all vacated due to the storms or because they felt me coming. So I took up residence in one of the sandstone huts after realizing that someone had put up a ridiculous barrier around _Las Noches_, effectively barring me from where I really wanted to be at that moment. Thoughts of Tia, Grimmjow, and even some of Nel became more common as the rain kept going. That sound of liquid hitting sand and rock is still stuck in my head; almost as bad as those voices.

I didn't see what was so great about being a Vasto Lorde. Maybe Nel and Tia were smart for becoming Arrancar as Adjuchas.

Nelliel was the one that on my mind most of all for one reason or another. At the time, she was the most likely of my three comrades that I would meet out in the desert. There was no way she'd be out there in the rainy season but I didn't know she'd been turned into a kid. She probably went all the way down to caverns below the forest where all the rain pools up and forms underground rivers and lakes.

Tia is from there, she used to talk about how great it was all the time when I was caged up.

Weeks went by in some awful desolate blur and the loneliness is unbearable. Hunger didn't even come often enough to break up the monotony of the rain. One night I got angry for reasons that escape me and I just blasted the hell out of the neighboring buildings with a thousand _ceros_ apiece.

Over the next couple of days following my stress relief, I began to expand on a big 'what if?' I had come up with based on a dream I had of one of the Hollow lizards getting its tail cut off. The lizard didn't grow another tail but the tail grew into a lizard and the two walked along the sand, staying right next to one another. It was a strange idea and even stranger that it worked out in the end. I doubt it can be done anywhere else but _Hueco Mundo_ during the storms.

I waited until my despondency completely overrode my fear of the consequences before heading out to a large dune next to my shelter. It was a bleak day with just a low drizzle; not much was going on except for the occasional lightning and sounds of a distant battle. I focused on the horizon and yanked one the horns off my head so fast that I didn't have any time to stop myself and I felt my power decrease a bit. Next thing I did was gather up all the reiatsu I could and forced it into that piece of my mask.

Worst possible outcome was that I simply got weaker and maybe I could've joined a pack so I guess my nervousness was out of place. Next thing I knew I was covered in some kind of nasty goo and there's a skinny girl in front of me looking down and panting at the sand. She was an Arrancar right from the start and I had made myself one as well. According to Grimmjow, this was a giant 'fuck you' to Aizen since he was planning on making me his _Cero Espada_ with the Hougyoku.

My first words to her are about her name. I damn near hugged that kid when she spoke back to me. "Lilynette…what about you? You got a name? Despite the fact that you were me…"

For a while, I couldn't remember which of us was the original but I found out a few months ago that she can't remember our time before transforming into a Vasto Lorde so I've been rubbing her face in it every chance I get. I should've then too but I didn't know.

I gave her my name. She asked what we should do and I told her that the sky's the limit as long as we stuck together and she smiled at me. We've kept good on that too, going to all sorts of places now.

That night, I slept better than I had ever slept before; wrapped up in some cloth I'd scavenged for us. In the morning, Lilynette wanted to leave and go exploring. I said sure as long as we saw if we could meet up with some others. The clouds had started to dissipate and Hollows wouldn't have been as hostile so it seemed like a plan.

…Not a very good plan because we met up with two groups and they died once I was in spitting range of them. I cursed and sat down. Lilynette shot me a weird look and came off like she was going to cry. She put her head on my lap and I guess he took that as his queue to make his grand entrance.

"Impressive."

I'd already known who it was and I really didn't care the slightest bit about him chaining me up for a century anymore. I'm sure he gave me that time outside of _Las Noches_ for the sole reason of me recognizing that there was no other place for me so I'd bend to his well that much more. And I'll be damned if it didn't work.

"Did the two of you make this mountain of Hollows?"

'Go fuck yourself' came to mind for about half a second but I'd resigned myself and told him that they'd just gone and died on their own. "I see. You seem strong…I wonder…I'm looking for some friends." I'm kind of ashamed to admit that that's all it really took to get me onboard with Aizen and the whole war.

Twenty-four hours go by and I woke up on a mattress with a gothic one tattooed to my hand, a glove to hide it because it made me a little self-conscious, and Lilynette with her hand down my throat. I tell you, she's lucky my instincts aren't like Grimmjow's or she'd be short some appendages by now. And while he's on the subject: I'd avoided him like the plague. There was no way in hell I wanted him to see that I had a higher rank than him and the fact that his mask fragment was used to make me transform is still my best-kept secret. Tia said that he'd calmed down after the first two weeks after transforming and that we shouldn't let our friendship die because we were on the other side now.

So the three of us plus Lilynette starting getting together again. I was introduced to alcohol which is my first love and we did well for ourselves by becoming the second of two groups of real friends in all of _Hueco Mundo._ Nel beat us with her dumbass _fraccion_.

All went well for a while; Grimmjow and I obtained an acoustic guitar from a botched resource acquisition mission to the Living World and we taught ourselves how to play and eventually how to repair after Tia tried for the first and final time. Her nails were really something else…but I digress.

Times were good: I wasn't lonely anymore and I got to sleep as much as I wanted too when Lilynette was busy bugging the _Tercera_ or sometimes the _Sexta_ if he was in a good enough mood. Us four gathered up on the roof of the dome nearly every night and traded stories about bullshit missions, certain rumors regarding Aizen's sexual orientation and if he was overcompensating for something, and of course who we hated. Grimmjow usually took point in those conversations with rants about just how much he wanted to kill Ulquiorra who I had never once seen go out of his way to antagonize him. He just hated his eyes and went around blowing up buildings when he was called trash. When I asked him why he let him get to him so much he didn't have an answer. Tia's hypothesis was deep-rooted mental problems; that didn't help any. All Hollows have fucking mental problems.

...Yeah, we had fun just about every day until I woke up with another fist in my mouth in addition to Aizen announcing that we're being invaded. Everything goes downhill from there and no one, including Aizen unless dying was part of some master plan that's still in motion, sees it coming.

My ideal lifestyle was then shot to hell pretty effectively. Just about everyone dies except for the five of us.

Grimmjow's almost done in by Nnoitra after fighting Kurosaki and then the kid's girlfriend heals up good as new. She's either an altruist who has a lot of guts or she's just stupid to risk her life like that. He was plenty pissed off that he owed her again.

Tia's nearly cut in half by our dear leader but she managed to hold her insides in and escaped by _Garganta_ only to lose her mind in the _Menos_ Forest and eat everything she sees for six months or so until she tries that on Grimmjow when he's on his first mission and she ends up as smoking black bones. I was the first person he told about that and the two of us drank a lot that night.

Nel got off easy with nothing close to a scratch and she healed her mask during the process of destroying the Hougyoku with Kurosaki. The only thing that she's lost is her memory except for a few things involving Nnoitra. She doesn't remember our history as friends and it annoys me and Grimmjow sometimes.

And after Shunsui damn near kills us right off, which I'm still a little sore about but he's made up for it with free drinks, Lilynette and I separate into our own bodies and take half the damage for ourselves. We woke up a couple days later in the basement of some awful-smelling candy store to find out that we can either be executed or we can join the Shinigami after some sort of extensive program involving loyalty tests and specialized training.

Nelliel and I jumped on that offer pretty fast and Grimmjow came around once he realized that dying isn't that fun when you do it alone. So we take an oath here, a test there, learn some Kido to the best of our ability or inability in the case of the panther who for some reason has a damn good _cero_ but could only learn three Hadou and something called Shunkou he picked up from that woman he'd been hanging around…he breaks at least an arm every time he tries it. We also gave blood samples to the Twelfth Division for…science apparently.

During the war I'd been jealous of what I saw on the side of the Shinigami. They'd all fought together, not one-man-a-fight like we did which is one of the factors of our brilliant defeat in my opinion.

Joining up with them was the second best decision I've made in my life next to splitting my soul and we've met quite a few interesting people over the course of our testing including the Vizards who I'm on good terms with especially Rose who really knows how to play a guitar I found out. You know...I think they like us Arrancar more than Shinigami now that I think about it.

I'm part of something great now; there's not one thing I could wish for save maybe less paperwork and more time to sleep but that's pretty good considering what I used to gripe about. Lilynette's happier too, she smiles more and she has her own friends to play around with.

I'll stick around here for a long time, black robes suit me better according to my friends after all.

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Author's Note: I have no idea why the hell this took me so long to write.

**Basically the purpose of this two-shot is to clear up some things in the history surrounding my Grimm/Soi fic Los Pantera while adhering to canon as much as possible. Check it out if you're interested.**

**On a final note, did anyone else notice that Starrk was already an Arrancar when Aizen found him (unless he looked the exact same after his transformation but I seriously doubt that). Weird, huh?**

**Yo, press that button down there and drop me a line.**


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